Steven Wright

Joke 1: “I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.” 

Joke 2: “I saw a bank that said ’24 Hour Banking,’ but I don’t have that much time.” 

Joke 3: “I got up this morning, and I couldn’t find my socks. So I called information. She said, ‘Hello, Information.’ I said, ‘I can’t find my socks.’ She said, ‘They’re behind the couch.’ And they were!”