Amy Schumer

Joke 1: “I don’t have a lot of male friends because most of them are like, ‘Hey, that’s cool, can I f**k it?'” 

Joke 2: “I want a guy who is genuinely nice. Like if he doesn’t like my outfit, he’ll say something like, ‘You look really comfortable.'” 

Joke 3: “I’m a comic, not a politician. I don’t have a lot of facts. I’m not a credible source.”