PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS

By Lori Weintraub | July 18, 2020
  1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  2. I thought I saw an eye- doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  3. She was only a whiskey- maker, but he loved her still.
  4. A rubber- band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it  was a weapon of math disruption.
  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
  6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  9. A hole has been found in the nudist- camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
  13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the grass’
  15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at  large.