Jim Gaffigan

Joke 1: “You ever see a couple arguing in public, and they’re really going at it, and you think, ‘That’s a great couple’? Probably not.” 

Joke 2: “I’m what you call indoorsy. I don’t like bugs or camping. But I do like people who like camping because then I know where my house is.” 

Joke 3: “I’m pale, that’s my style. I’m not tan, I’m just light-challenged.”